Top Ten Successful Sports Cars That I Hate

1. Porsche Cayenne.

Why other people like them : they like SUVs. They like Porsches. They're fast.

Why I hate them : They're heavy. They're really, really, really ugly. Porsche capped to the what is perhaps the worst trend in automotive history. It is an abomination.

Advertisement

2. Ford GT

Why other people like it: They like the GT40. They like Ford. They like that America built a successful supercar. They think it looks good.

Why I hate it: It's Ford cashing in on their history. The body lifts so badly that they had to build a massive underbody diffuser just to keep the damn thing on the ground. Instead of building a proper engine for it, they supercharged the 5.4l Triton. Laziest. Engineers. Ever.

Advertisement

3. Bugatti Veyron

Why other people like it: 1200hp. $1200000. Top speed. Quad turbo 8.4l W-16.

Why I hate it: The Veyron has the opposite problem that the GT does — it's way over-engineered. It's like they decided on the most absurdly complex solution to the problem of going fast. And given that, it's slow around a track, its heavy (4000 lb) and wickedly expensive and painful to operate. What's worse is that there's only one track in the world where you can actually get it up to its top speed.

Advertisement

The consolation: I'd love to see a SuperSport do Pike's Peak.

Advertisement

4. Lamborghini Murcielago

Why other people love it: Because Lamborghini. It has a lot of horsepower. It's actually a pretty good looking car.

Advertisement

Why I hate it: It's heavy and slow, even by the standards of when it came out.

Advertisement

5. Ford Mustang

Ford and I have a complicated relationship. There are some things they do that I totally love (their new 5.0l, the original GT40 and Cobra, the SVO V-6, the original SVT Focus), but then they do so much stuff that I just find to be classless that for reasons incomprehensible to me, people foam at the mouth for. To wit: every Mustang since the originals has handled poorly. The current one, instead of improving the chassis and suspension, they decided to turn into a dyno queen.

Advertisement

6. Koeniggsegg CCR

Why people love it: It's really the first non-Italian supercar to be truly successful in decades. It's pretty fast. They build their own engines.

Advertisement

Why I hate it: It's ugly, and the first one was supercharged and focused on straight line speed more than handling.

Advertisement

7. BMW Z4

Why it was successful: Lawyers with too much money.

Why I hate it: BMW should have made a faster, lighter and more beautiful successor to the M3 roadster. Instead we got this flame-surfaced abomination.

Advertisement
This image was lost some time after publication.

8. Honda CR-Z (I don't even know if that qualifies).

I don't know that this qualifies as a sports car, or if it qualifies as successful, but it was one of the biggest let-downs of this millenium. Rather than a re-born CR-X we got hybrid that's slow, heavy, impractical, complicated and expensive.

Advertisement

9. Lexus SC430

Why people liked it : A sports car with Toyota reliability, comfort and a V-8. What's not to like? And it was (relatively) cheap to boot.

Advertisement

This was the sports car for people who wanted a sports car that wasn't actually a sports car. Despite having a V-8, it handled and accelerated like a pig. It was a Camry for wealthy wives of CEOs

Advertisement

10. The Ariel Atom.

Why people love it: To be honest, people love it for a lot of good reasons — it's light, relatively inexpensive, and it apparently a lot of fun.

Advertisement

Why I hate it: The frame. I hate that arc-spar frame. In short, I think it's ugly.

Share This Story